Boundaries, or the lack thereof, play a crucial role in this dynamic. Adult children often attempt to set limits asking to avoid certain topics, or requesting understanding for their parenting choices. When these boundaries are dismissed or mocked, it reinforces the fear that their feelings don’t matter, and that visits will only bring emotional exhaustion.
Another layer of concern grows when past conflicts are constantly revisited. A casual family gathering can turn into a reminder of unresolved issues, reigniting memories of past arguments or criticisms. Children, remembering the emotional toll of previous interactions, may worry that no matter how much time has passed, they cannot escape the same cycle of discomfort.
Yet, despite these fears, most children deeply love their parents.
Their distance is not a sign of indifference, but of self-preservation. It is a delicate balance: they want to maintain the bond, but they also need to protect their emotional well-being.
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