On April 30, Smith went into labor at just 30 weeks along, necessitating a quick C-section.
The pair was provided with a “bereavement midwife” and a “Daisy Room,” a space where parents can be with their infant before and after death, to help them cope with the loss.
“When the girls were born, they both cried. This was a huge moment, as we were told that Skye would not make a noise or move,” said Smith, who was thankful to have spent three hours with Skye before she died.
“We were cuddling Skye when she passed away. This was the worst moment in our lives. I have never ever felt heartbreak like that before. But I am proud that she fought for so long to spend time with us.”
Callie was one of three sets of twins staying in the NICU while they all recovered from being born prematurely.
“Most of the nurses were aware of what had happened, but as time passed, people stopped talking about Skye. After about four weeks, everyone acted as though nothing had happened, meaning the families around me had no idea about our situation,” Smith recalled.
Innocuously, Smith was told that she was “so lucky” not to have twins by a frazzled mother whose twins were also in the NICU.
“None of the other parents knew what had happened or anything about Skye. The comment was completely innocent and more out of humor…They weren’t to know that I did at one point have two.” Smith continued, “But the comment nearly broke me. I ran out [of] the room in tears and they had no idea why. I didn’t have the heart to tell them what had happened. A simple sticker would have avoided that entire situation.”
Smith then knew she had to make something that would speak for parents who had just lost a child so that this kind of miscommunication would never happen again.
She created a poster for the neonatal intensive care unit to inform staff and visitors that a purple butterfly on the incubator indicated the loss of one or more babies in a set of multiples.
“I chose butterflies, as I felt it was fitting to remember the babies that flew away, the color purple because it is suitable for both boys or girls,” said Smith.
The Skye High Foundation, which oversees the purple butterfly initiative, has helped expand the idea to hospitals in many different nations.
Callie, now 7, is full of life and joy, and her memory continues on in purple butterfly cards and other programs to support families who have lost a baby like Skye.
Purple butterfly merchandise currently includes a wide variety of gifts and accessories.
“Ultimately I will never be able to stop this from happening, but the more support groups we can set up and put things in place like the stickers the better it will be. It’s the hardest thing anyone has to deal with,” Smith said.
The world is fortunate to have compassionate people like Millie Smith who are working to ease the suffering of those who have experienced the loss of a child of any age.
